Born 1986, gender male.
Just another wannabe blogger…anyway,
I’m scared of people, I’m shy, and I blush if you make eye contact for too long or if I feel uncomfortable for any reason. I also apparently appear uninterested in other people, although that’s not the case all the time. People also find me boring to be with, and I don’t like causing other people to feel bad/down/quiet because they are around/with me and they have nothing to talk to me about. I have bad body language, and apparently am too easy to “read”. People probably view me as an ice bitch…if I were a girl. Since i’m not, that leaves me being an ice dog. But whatever, dogs are cute 
Physically, I think I’m ugly, I wish I were handsome, taller, and I wish I weren’t so thin. I have low confidence most times, but high confidence sometimes. Depends on what. Physical, mental, social? I’m only good mentally. I’m also afraid of getting close to people, and I think people are afraid of getting close to me too. Naturally, I think I tend to push people away. Perhaps for good reason. I have many friends, but few close friends. I really don’t know what I want. Sometimes I want friends, sometimes I don’t. Now, my life in general. Right now, I’m borderline content with my life, except that I don’t know where it is going, and I don’t know the purpose of living. My daily Uni life sometimes makes me question- is this all there is to live? If it is, then I don’t want to live. But still I live…don’t worry, I’m not suicidal. Haha… I realise I like to say that. In my blog too. Or to people. Hopefully, and maybe one day, I will find the true purpose of life. Or at least improve my life and be happy. Be really happy, like in my childhood days. When I looked back at my childhood pictures, I realised that I have never been that happy again. The little me was so happy, so content with life. But here I am, borderline happy. Have I changed that much? Or has the world around me changed so much and I am still the same little kid 11 years ago that refuses to change? Oh yes, I am also attention seeking. Like now for instance But sometimes i hate attention! Like attention from lecturers during class. I also like to do self pity the way people do drugs, although recently I’ve not given myself much pity. I’m trying to be more positive, not thinking about the worst possible outcome all the time, and taking risks that unfortunately do not always end well. Life’s too short. Just another 80 years more if I live to 100. 79 more years actually. I also like to delay a lot, and do not work well unless I’m pressured a bit. Ok, now some good things about me. People think I’m clever and hardworking, which is only 50% right. 50% clever and hardworking isn’t too bad. I also try to be nice to everyone, regardless of who you are and if it’s within my means to help and you’re not asking for too much. What else? Why am I writing this crap? This should be in my blog, not on a friendster profile… but I guess I want you to read it. The attention seeking online me wants you to read it. That’s why it’s here. Duh…
mspennylane said,
May 23, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Hi, I see you haven’t posted for a while but I hope you get to login and read this comment. I did a search for “blushing” and found your blog. Most of the results were not relevant to what I wanted to read about, which is the blushing that you describe: for no reason. I’ve been dealing with this myself. Right now I guess the way I deal with it is mainly through wearing lots of makeup although in the end I don’t think it does much! Anyway I also seem to think about life, and am scared of a lot of things because I’m so pessimistic, so I thought I’d leave you a message to let you know you’re not the only one! I’m 20 year old female currently in my last year at uni… so I suppose these questions are bound to pop up!
Me said,
May 23, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Thank you